Dogs at the Table

Xmas Xeep

2011-11-17T08:57:00.001-04:00

A number of newspaper articles and broadcast pieces have started to name “Christmas Creep” as a commercially driven attempt to ramp up indulgent spending at this time of the year.

One of the reasons that we promote “The Season of the Kingdom” is to push back against two months of Christmas hype. The Incarnation, which we celebrate at Christmas is truly important as a matter of faith, but Christmas ought not to be an end in itself. When we think about God’s Kingdom, we are prompted to consider the consequences of following Christ. The Kingdom’s standards are, in fact, high, and there are expectations of each of us. The Gospels for the three weeks before Advent all describe some people being included at the banquet, or the master’s favour, or those commended in God’s eyes; and some people not being included. While this seems harsh, and we would like to think that God would include everyone, it becomes clear that those who are excluded are those who don’t care enough to look after themselves or never spare a thought for others – in other words, they are not participating in their own salvation.

So instead of giving in to Christmas Creep, focus on the things we can do to make necessary changes in our lives, care for others (and especially those in need), and remember that our faith is about preparing the world for Christ to be seen again, first and foremost in our own lives, and our community, and the world.

Today's weigh-in: 228 Creeping along.

Tired of Programs

2011-10-20T11:52:00.002-03:00

I'm getting tired of church programs -- Back to Church Sunday, Emergent Church, Messy Church, Godly Play, J to A, innumerable Stewardship initiatives, and every time you turn around, some other congregational development plot or ploy to stimulate church life or reach out to the lapsed, the uncommitted, the lost, the seeker, the unchurched, the untouched, the spiritual-but-not-religious, the youth, the seniors, the immigrants, the men, the women...you get the picture.

It seems that far too much of our identity is bound up in schema to make us better, and yet the more programmed we are, the less evidence I see of genuine Christian identity. There is an appalling lack of biblical literacy, prayer life and spirituality in congregations generally, and in those places where the life of faith seems flourishing, people seem more content with who they are than what they're doing.

This question of identity is at the heart of Baptism for individuals, and confessional statements for denominations. The closest we Anglicans have these days are probably the Five Marks of Mission that emerged in the 1980s and 90s:

To proclaim the Good News of the Kingdom;
To teach, baptize and nurture new believers;
To respond to human need by loving service;
To seek to transform unjust structures of society;
To strive to safeguard the integrity of creation and sustain and renew the life of the earth.

But then again, how many Anglicans are actually conversant with these "Five Marks of Mission?" Probably about as many as as know the five questions that follow the Apostles' Creed in the Baptismal Covenant:

Will you continue in the Apostles' teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of the bread, and in the prayers?
Will you persevere in resisting evil, and whenever you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord?
Will you proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ?
Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbour as yourself?
Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?

As we move into the Season of the Kingdom and Advent, it seems to me that the question of identity would naturally lead into the life of the kingdom, the community, and the life of Christ.

And at the risk of denying all the work being done by the programmers, I'd rather start from the heart than the head.

Today's weigh-in: 228 The body is beginning to get it.

September reflection

2011-09-03T22:10:00.002-03:00

This is my somewhat grumpy bulletin back page to begin September. One too many parents said their pre-teen had an activity on Sunday mornings.

I don’t know what a race car driver feels like, but I have flown often enough to know the feeling that when the brakes are released and the engines are fully revved up, you go from a standing stop to two-hundred-twenty kilometres per hour in the space of a few seconds.

That is what September feels like in the parish. All our groups and organizations begin meeting again; our attendance catches up (and, yes, our finances); events become more numerous and we settle in to the rhythm and routine of “normal.”

So...

...if the parish is important to you, make sure that Sunday mornings are a choice for you. I have raised three children, so I am aware of the stress that their activities can bring to bear on my choices. Sometimes we need to say to our children that what they want to do is not a good choice. Trust me, they will respect you more for standing up for something than simply accommodating every request that they make.

...there is a laziness about Sundays. The line goes like, “it’s the only day I have off, so I want to spend it with my family or doing things that are important to me.” Why can’t the parish community be a legitimate choice for you and your family? We’re asking for an hour, and promising eternity – not the other way around.

...I’d like there to be three books that are important to you. In no particular order they are (1) a Bible – it’s a good book and says a lot about how humanity relates to God. (2) your cheque book (or credit card statements) – the way you spend your money says a lot about who you are. (3) your calendar, because time is a gift from God, and if we do not cherish the gift, it has little value in our lives.

Today's weigh-in: 235 The diet seems to have taken a day or three off.

Once a year?

2011-08-29T10:46:00.002-03:00

Surely I can do better than once a year. Maybe once a month? Once a week? Probably not every day.

Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about blog entries.

I don't journal very well either, but as part of a spirituality workshop that I'm part of, I am being reminded about journaling. It is a worthwhile practice if only to keep track of oneself. As I read some of my earlier (albeit sporadic and intermittent) posts, I have some appreciation of the people, places and activities that have captured my attention even if only for a moment or two.

So here goes, in no particular order, from the last month or so:

- Jack Layton died, leaving behind a legacy that will, I hope, appreciate in the hearts and minds of Canadians (or at least voters). I don't necessarily support the NDP (New Democratic Party of Canada -- liberal social democratic leanings) in all things, but their values resonate with me. Jack's parting words to Canadians, from an open letter published after his death: "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." That is a change I can embrace, or as I said in my twitter feed: Jack Layton has made us all better Canadians.

- My three-year-old computer had hard-drive failure. The symptoms were repeated blue-screens-of-death and Safe-Mode restarts. A tech at Staples in Kelowna was able to give me all the data on a 500 gb portable drive. But when shopping for a new computer, I discovered something unpleasant. It wasn't the price, it was the keyboard. In Canada, it has apparently been mandated that all computers have a "bi-lingual keyboard." What this means is that an international accent key replaces the right side of the left-shift key. Or, if you touch-type, it means a huge pain-in-the either ass or little finger. To find a keyboard in Canada with a full left-shift key meant several different stores until (finally) a Sony Vaio had a keyboard I could live with. What I can't find out is the provenance of this mandated keyboard change. As a consumer, I resent that choice and preference are being taken away from me.

- And not to depart from the theme of computers, Windows 7 takes me farther and farther away from comfort and familiarity. Fewer and fewer of my legacy programs work, and I have had to find new Bible software, upgrades to my browser, security and productivity programs, and, in the second worst twist of all, nothing that remotely resembles "Outlook Express" which had all my message rules and categories. Of all the inconvenience of Windows 7, however, I have discovered that my favourite Bridge game will not run under it, and the author does not intend to upgrade it. Interesting, isn't it, that the smallest things can be the most annoying.

- I need a haircut.

Today's weigh-in: 235 I also need to pay attention to my diet.

New Year's Day

2010-09-08T11:39:00.002-03:00

For some reason, I think of September as New Year's. Maybe I am Jewish in my heart-of-hearts, since Rosh Hashanah - the Jewish New Year - usually takes place in September and commemorates the creation of the world (or humanity, depending on your rabbi of choice). It is the day that marks the beginning of sabbatical and jubilee years. It begins a ten-day period of introspection and repentance, and offers the opportunity to make what we might call "New Year's Resolutions" or amendment and change of life.

One of the best illustrations of this that I know is an episode of Northern Exposure called Shofar, so Good. Joel, the Jewish doctor in Alaska is confronted by his own arrogance and selfishness by three visits of "The Rabbi of Yom Kippur (Past, Present and Future)" in an extended dream sequence. It also invites us to reflect on how others (Ed, the Shaman-in-training) can atone for the sins of others, although it takes an act of will to allow someone else to do this for us.

I have been doing some reading this year in Jewish spirituality, specifically the path of Musar (sometimes Mussar) or Inner Holiness. It is actually quite close to some of the Vedantic (a Hindu derivative practice) spirituality which helped frame my own spiritual journey.

Upon reflection, and with some coaching, I am discovering that I need to exercise control in my life (also a common trait of Enneagram 7s). Workspace, calendar, routine -- these are not necessarily bad things, and engaging with them can be very fulfilling.

Unfortunately this goes against my inner nature which is adventure-seeking and somewhat chaotic. I like the notion of waiting to see what each day will bring, or where the wind of God might carry me. This isn't to be confused with pleasure-seeking or hedonism (not that I am against such things), but Musar is helping me with the notion of creating space for stillness and calm, and not living with the expectation that something - anything - should and will happen.

So September is New Year's for me, and the irony is that as I seek stillness and calm, as I attempt to take control of my workspace and calendar, as I develop healthy routines, that my calendar and parish life explode with obligations and other people's expectations.

C'est la vie!

Today's weigh-in: 229 Something's working

From confused to disappointed

2010-07-09T09:11:00.003-03:00

I guess I shouldn't be surprised -- according to today's news, Jeffrey John is no longer on the list (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/7877839/Gay-cleric-blocked-from-becoming-Church-of-England-bishop.html) to become Bishop of Southwark.

What disappoints me is not the fact that his name is not going forward -- that part, frankly, was not unexpected. My disappointment comes from the way the English church, and specifically the Archbishop of Canterbury, has acted.

I'm not usually vulnerable to conspiracy theories -- I find them interesting and sometimes even compelling, but I try to see the larger picture. Except now.

There is no logical reason for the news leak about John's potential candidacy except that somebody (whether the progressives or evangelicals) needed to float a trial balloon to see what would happen. And guess what...people noticed. The Church of England suddenly looked relevant (to put the best spin on it). Or the Church of England was trying to distract the media from the far more testy issue of the ordination of women bishops which will be debated this weekend.

The one who doesn't come off well through all this, though, is ++Rowan. According to the news report, he's furious, and he's making people sign oaths of secrecy and -- gee whiz -- apparently wants to take the church back into some murky dark past, where the machinations of the modern world and the contemporary media must be held at bay.

Let me offer the experience of our last General Synod: while I would have preferred some level of decision about the human sexuality matter, the one thing we didn't do was turn off the cameras and bar the press. The critics of our decision-making process can't say they didn't understand it because they didn't see it.

Let me offer the experience of the Executive Council of the Episcopal Church when Kenneth Kearon was their guest last month -- he wanted to turn off the cameras and kick out the press. ++Katherine offered the group the decision about whether or not to keep their discussion public -- and they did. Kearon came off, frankly, as a deer in the headlights.

And now, ++Canterbury and ++York are plotting a compromise that would make female bishops second class in the Church of England by allowing the Anglo-Catholics and Evangelicals to nominate their own male bishops before whom they can kneel or kow tow. Homophobia and Gynophobia seem to the be real authorities in the Church of England.

Today's weigh-in: 235 More authority needed.

Now I'm officially confused

2010-07-03T19:56:00.003-03:00

Apparently, Jeffrey John (the dean of St. Alban's in England, who is in a registered civil partnership with the Rev'd Grant Holmes since 2006) has been nominated to become the Bishop of Southwark (a large part of municipal London, UK), which nomination, in fact, I think is rather daring, and a good thing.

Formerly nominated (and then forced to withdraw) as Bishop of Reading several years ago (because of his sexual orientation), the fact that ++Rowan (Archbishop of Canterbury) is allowing his name to go forward just confuses the hell out of me, because I think this is a good thing (and until today, I have tended to think that ++Rowan and I have vastly different ideas about what is a good thing).

Now let me be the first to admit that I am easily confused. My family would validate this observation, as would the parish, and the community organizations that I support.

Nevertheless, after the slight against ++Katharine Jefferts Schori at Southwark Cathedral (in the so-called Mitre-gate matter -- http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/jun/15/hugh-muir-diary) because The Episcopal Church had the tenacity to consecrate a gay bishop (Gene Robinson, 2004) and a lesbian bishop (Mary Glasspool, 2010), I am stunned (that would be gob-smacked in English parlance) that ++Rowan is not blocking this nomination.

What is truly amazing is that Jeffrey John is not only nominated, but the preferred candidate. In the British system, nominees are vetted by an ecclesial committee (that includes the Archbishops of Canterbury and York) and then submitted to the Prime Minister (David Cameron, a known critic of Anglican conservatives) who then submits the name of the preferred candidate to the crown, who actually makes the appointment.

If this nomination proceeds, I wonder why the Anglican Church of Canada needs to pay any attention whatsoever to the Anglican Covenant, the General Secretary (Kenneth Kearon, who I've mentioned in other posts), or, for that matter, any authority except the diocese.

That's the part that really confuses me. We have a bishop that seems not ready to act until the national church does, a Primate that at least publicly will not cross the line drawn in the sand by Canterbury, and gay and lesbians within my ken that will look at the actions of the Church of England and say (literally) wtf.

As do I.

Today's weigh-in: 232 Waistline is also confused.

Is it just me?

2010-06-28T10:53:00.002-03:00

I think I've become a curmudgeon. Maybe it's age-related grumpiness. Maybe it's ongoing frustration with institutional systems and patterns of thought. Maybe it's the time of year.

I went to a church service last night: "A Celebration of New Ministry." It's one of those services of the church where a new incumbent is welcomed into the parish, where the covenant in ministry is publicly presented, and a milestone in a parish's history is marked.

Here is what I don't get: the "new incumbent" had been in the parish for a year, so there was nothing really novel about the appointment; the "new incumbent" was a non-resident priest on a half-time appointment; and finally, the covenant that was produced made no recognition of the constraints of a half-time position and used old language that stated that the role of the congregation was to support the rector in his/her pastorate.

This is an absolute failure to recognize that the gifts of ministry are already fully present in the community of the baptized. The priest brings with him/her the sacramental and sacerdotal charisms related to ordination, but in a real baptismal ecclesiology, it is the sacraments that sustain the congregation, not the congregation supporting the sacraments.

This ongoing failure to recognize that the role of the clergy is to support the ministry of Christ as expressed in the local community should be obvious. But for whatever reason, bishops, archdeacons and other senior clergy continue to let congregations away with abrogating their real responsibilities in ministry, and allowing clergy to usurp "ministry" as their own.

Even from our own local diocesan e-newsletter, let me quote the following:

If it weren’t for Lay people who would listen to those interesting sermons? Who would put the coffee on for coffee hour? Who would sing the new hymns? Who would teach the children? Who would raise the money? Who would help plan the programs? Who would take the Church out into the world? Who would mow the grass in the cemeteries? Who would keep our books? Who would create our bulletins and parish newsletters? Who would help the clergy visit the sick and shut-in? Who would help the priest with our new and exciting liturgies? (from the press release for the 2010 Legacy Fund for Lay Ministry)

This language patronizes and diminishes the community of the baptized, whose only role now is to validate the priest by undertaking mundane tasks or being on the receiving end of sermons and liturgies. Why isn't the community of the baptized crafting these sermons and liturgies? Why are the baptized to teach children and not adults? Why is the initiative to visit the sick and the shut-in the prerogative of the clergy and not the community's? For what purpose is "the money" being raised?

And so I end up at this celebration of new ministry characterized by a wholly inadequate covenant in ministry, flawed ecclesiology, and incompetent liturgy (that's a whole different rant).

Yup, I've become a curmudgeon.

Today's weigh-in: 232 Something to smile about.

So what?

2010-06-11T00:48:00.004-03:00

I've enjoyed the experience of Synod. But this last day has left me unsettled.

The more distance I have from the "Agreed Statement" the less impressed I am. I asked my bishop if the phrase "Full Inclusion" means access to any sacrament after Baptism for gays and lesbians (including marriage and ordination). She said, and I quote, "It can be interpreted that way in each place, I think."

Does that mean here and now? Does it refer to election and ordination as bishops? Somehow I doubt it.

Then there was the Anglican Covenant.

I have made no secret of the fact that I have no desire to be bound by the constraints that the covenant describes. I live in fear that it will alienate me from my American brothers and sisters in the church if we don't play by Canterbury's rules. I am furious at the Anglican Communion Office for their "shot across the bow" as we were meeting in Synod. And I am concerned that the fatigue that coloured our actions this afternoon will have consequences that we shouldn't have to live with. After some amicable debate (nobody said anything remotely controversial), we passed the motion to receive and give study to the covenant text with a recommendation to General Synod 2013 (although the recommendation could be not to accept, I suppose -- the motion is not directive). A second motion was presented advising us not to accept the covenant until after its acceptance in the Church of England. Although the Resolutions Committee and Advisory Group said the motion was in order, the chair (ie. the Primate) ruled it out of order, stating that we need only concern ourselves with Canada, and that this was not about the rest of the communion.

Sorry, ++Fred. It is precisely about the rest of the communion, and were it up to me, I would not even begin to consider it until England and a numerical majority of the provinces of the Church had adopted it. Canterbury is already acting as though it is in force, and therefore we have nothing to lose by deferring any decision about the matter. There is so much ignorance about the ecclesiology of the Anglican Church in Canada and throughout the world, that deference would, in fact, give us some opportunity to teach about the nature of who we are as a family of faith.

I attended Eucharist with the Integrity community at suppertime (this is a gay-positive movement within the church). I have been associated with the Pride organization for years, and have (had to) represent the Diocese a number of times over the past few years. Each year, I apologize for the Anglican communion not giving equal consideration to Gays, Lesbians, Transgendered and Bisexual members of the church when it comes to marriage or ordination. I mentioned to the Bishop that I hoped she could be at the Pride events this year, because I was tired of apologizing for our church. She said we had nothing to apologize for. Look again, bishop.

The loveliest part of the day was Evening Prayer. Ardyth and Jennifer, celtic harpists and troubadours, accompanied a Celtic expression of the evening office. When I evaluate General Synod, the worship in the gathering is a high point.

A poorly organized reception followed in a warehouse sized space, and I ended up at a local pub for high starch and carbohydrates late in the evening.

Today's weigh-in: ? I can't imagine pub food at 11:30 can be good for me.

The seventh day is not Sabbath

2010-06-10T10:19:00.001-03:00

I'm blogging live from the floor. Probably a violation of protocol. Nevertheless...

Well, we’re in the midst of it – the statement has been presented, particular language highlighted, and we will accept the statement for what it is. There is something in it for everybody, or to put it another way, you can find whatever you want.

The remarkable thing is that both liberal and conservative voices have spoken in favour of the statement, which may be some indication of grace. I don’t know what the future of the blessing and sexuality debate (and action) will be, but I’m certain the editorial writers will find a whole lot to say.

For me, it is a snapshot of a moment in time, and as one speaker said, “I’m gonna have a whole lot of ‘splainin’ to do."

And on the Sixth Day a statement was created

2010-06-10T00:02:00.003-03:00

As of 8:40 this evening, I am officially grumpy. Part of my disgruntlement comes from the content of the "Synod Statement on Human Sexuality" (http://www.anglican.ca/gs2010/atsynod/sdr-june-9-2010/ ) and part of it comes from the process, which presented the statement a mere twenty minutes before the deadline for resolutions. In my heart of hearts, I don't think this was deliberate, but geesh, couldn't we have had a little more time to sit with it?

The statement is a "keep talking" piece of work. There is no common mind (as if...!). There is an unpleasant affirmation (that I don't believe to be held by as many people as the statement implies) that we are "passionately committed to walking together, protecting our common life." When it says we "affirmed the full inclusion of gay and lesbian members in our churches," the nature of full inclusion is not defined. Tomorrow morning we begin with a motion to affirm this statement. And so I am officially grumpy. The sheaf of resolutions coming forward in the morning with regard to human sexuality should be interesting.

As a footnote to all this, and in reference to yesterday's post, Kearon was at the bar tonight. I left provision with the bartender to put a drink on my tab and let him know where I was seated, because I was prepared to ask whether the actions of this General Synod would affect the employment of Alyson Barnett-Cowan (the staff person for Faith and Order at the Anglican Communion Office). That seemed to be the tenor of the letter to the communion -- "Look what we did to the Americans: if you don't play by our rules then jobs will be lost." I guess I'll have to do it on the floor tomorrow.

But there was more to the day than that. After our morning devotions, Anthony Mancini, the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Halifax greeted us (and then lectured to us) about Anglican Roman Catholic relations, making specific mention of our having to remain in the larger Anglican communion. I appreciated that he didn't speak in the coy language of diplomacy, but I really wasn't in the mood to be instructed by him.

The last part of the morning was spent in our second discussion group around human sexuality and the blessing of same-sex unions. It did not go particularly well, and we ended with an air of suspicion and hostility (largely directed at the facilitator and recorder). I heard a significant number of voices affirm some level of local option about the issue, but (as you can see from the statement that doesn't seem to be present).

After lunch, we repudiated the "doctrine of discovery" (see my earlier post). One of the more interesting speakers in favour of the motion noted that The Episcopal Church had done the same thing last year, and that in repudiating the doctrine of discovery we affirmed individual rights and dignity, giving us an ethic and vocabulary for dealing with "imperialistic and colonializing overtures" into our church life. There was an audible "....ooooooooo..." in the house.

The loveliest part of the day came from the Aboriginal Peoples of the Anglican Church. As we affirmed their place and ministry in the church, they shared with us the journey to their unique and full place in the Anglican Church of Canada. Lydia Mamakwa was welcomed as in indigenous area bishop; the various councils reported on how they were growing as part of an Anglican Indigenous Council, and presentations were made to those that had helped craft the statements and legislation that allowed them to reach this point in their history. One of the most delightful moments came when Mark Marshall (indigenous bishop), realizing that their time allocation was drawing to a close, stated that they were working at warp speed -- in their culture, it usually takes all day just to say "hello."

I am going to spend the rest of the evening reflecting on "the statement." If I can simply take the words "full inclusion," it is sufficient, but somehow or another, I don't think that language is what will endure.

Last year, our Diocese engaged in the Intentional Listening process at our Diocesan Synod. I was responsible for collating the responses to the question about what do people hope or fear about the future of the Anglican Church. The overwhelming fear was that in 20 years, we'd still be talking about how to include gays and lesbians in the life of the church.

We are well on the way to realizing those fears.

Today's weigh-in: ? I wonder how much bull-s**t weighs?

Where there are three or four Anglicans, you can often find a fifth...

2010-06-09T00:12:00.003-03:00

Today was a delight: there were no resolutions; we had a banquet (more about that in a moment); it was a gorgeous day for walking (which I did–from St. Mary’s to St. Paul’s Church, then from St. Paul’s Church to Pier 21 for the banquet, then from Pier 21 back to St. Mary’s); there was a brilliant presentation from the Anglican Youth called Roots Among the Rocks (sponsored by Huron College and Ask & Imagine – an Anglican Youth Initiative) this morning; the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church addressed us; we elected representatives to the Council of General Synod (hereinafter CoGS); we elected the deputy prolocutor of General Synod; and we laughed.

Despite the shadow of Canon Kearon’s missive cited yesterday, we received a summation of the first of the human sexuality/blessing of same-sex unions hearing without rancor. There is, however, this weird feeling like Kearon farted in the room and then left without acknowledging the smell. I am still angered that he would attempt to intimidate us and the outcome of this Synod. And I am not the only one. There is a motion coming before Synod that we table the receiving of the Anglican Covenant until such time as it as been received by the Church of England.

Roots Among the Rocks was the best Christian drama I have ever seen. I do not gush easily, and there is simply nothing to be cynical about. Five young actors moved from vignette to vignette about peoples’ encounter with Christ, or the Church, or God, or relationships or their life. The talent was unassailable, the message unrefutable, the presentation engrossing. An hour and twenty minutes of the day slipped by and we didn’t notice. It is the only part of General Synod so far where I have seen every window, monitor and gallery position filled with people watching.

The Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church addressed us before lunch. I have some acquaintance of Katharine Jefferts Schori, and (with respect) found her message tame. She spoke of the shared common heritage of the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Church of Canada, but did not address the tensions in the Anglican Communion nor the daring expressions of the Holy Spirit in the Episcopal Church. But it was nice to see her. I guess.

This afternoon we shared Eucharist at St. Paul’s Church on the Grand Parade in Halifax. I really don’t like being grumpy about worship, but this just didn’t work. A 1749 building with a balcony supported by pillars in the nave has crappy sight-lines if you are anywhere but in the centre of the nave; the acoustics are awful and given the nature of the music (multicultural with an emphasis on Swahili) accompanied by piano, two violins, flute and African drum, unsuccessful; the use of projected material on screens with no reference for musical line inhospitable; from my position no visual access to the readers or presider. Significant liturgical oops.

But it was redeemed by the banquet. Beautiful music from Ardyth and Jennifer (Celtic harp and voice), a lovely meal (General Synod has not hurt my palette), and, ending the evening, a riotously funny comedian, Bill Carr. Framing his comments around Philippians 4:8, Bill had the whole assembly weeping with laughter as he explored how it is we interact with others and what is truly important in life. It was a perfect intermission in the middle of eight days of General Synod.

Today's weigh-in: ? I hope the walking is doing me good.

Day the fourth

2010-06-08T01:01:00.001-03:00

Let me start at the Gorsebrook Lounge (where the evening socials take place). Before General Synod, there were several articles published about some of the issues that were coming before this body of the church. One of them is the Anglican Covenant – a document describing relational attributes of member bodies in the Anglican Communion. The Archbishop of Toronto, Colin Johnson, had written a rather favourable piece. I am not so enamoured of the document. I responded in print to Johnson’s article. Anyways, he and I were at the same table at the bar. We were having a great chat about many things (I grew up in Toronto). He was about to leave, when I disclosed who I was, pointed out that while I disagreed with his article, it wasn’t personal and bought him a beer. Lex orendi, lex credendi, lex bibendi.

The evening was spent dealing with resolutions about church governance. The proposal was that Easter attendance be used to craft the formula for determining proportional representation at General Synod. One clever delegate asked that it might be a three-year average of Easter attendance given the inclemencies and vicissitudes of the Canadian climate. A beautiful service of light (Taize chant, evocative language of prayer) concluded the evening deliberations (although I am not convinced that electric tea-lights are very high on the symbolic index).

The afternoon was spent in assigned discussion groups (around the sexuality/blessing issue), and specific interest areas. This was a lovely change of pace from the deliberations and presentations of the morning. The smaller numbers provided an intimacy for conversation that obviously cannot take place in plenary, and more direct contact between members.

The morning was curious. After our morning devotions and bible study, there was a presentation by a group called Fresh Expressions who challenged us to think about how the church will minister to a changing community, demographic and institution. This was followed by a gracious address by Kenneth Kearon, the General Secretary of the Anglican Communion. He noted that the Anglican Communion is who we are and not some etherial “other” kind of church. Sadly, although unbeknownst to the delegates at the time, his words were followed by brutally blunt actions as outlined in a letter from his office:

http://www.anglicancommunion.org/acns/news.cfm/2010/6/7/ACNS4707

My response to his question, is, “wait and see.”

I may raise a point of privilege in the morning. I am offended that the governing secretary of the Anglican Communion would presume these actions before we have finished meeting.

Kearon is not getting a beer from me.

Oh, and by the way, we approved with no debate, a more decisive and missional role for the Primate in the church (there’s a whole bunch of ecclesiology involved with that with which I won’t bore you – it was a good thing).

Today's weigh-in: ? ...but beer good.

And on the third day...

2010-06-07T00:06:00.001-03:00

Today was a mixed day – Synod business in the morning, the 300th Anniversary Service of the Diocese of Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island in the afternoon, and then dinner with the bishop and spouses this evening. Indifferent, bad, good, in that order.

This morning was a presentation introducing the debate about human sexuality. It included the methodology and differing points of view from the Primate’s theological commission, a reiteration of the House of Bishops’ statement from 2007* (where the part about Baptism was curiously omitted), and an update on where many of the Canadian Dioceses are at this point. One of the speakers reporting on diocesan dialogues with African dioceses was supposed to be Michael Ingham, bishop of New Westminster, whose diocese was the first in Canada to permit the blessing of same sex unions, but he was unfortunately not present. I am still not satisfied that there is any acknowledgment that the continuing “gracious restraint” and “ongoing dialogue” is at the expense of a constituency of the church who are already making enormous spiritual sacrifices just to affiliate with the Anglican Church.

The second part of the morning was the first information session, called a “Port of Call” continuing the Nautical theme of the Synod. These are opportunities to explore in depth the work and reporting of national church committees and structures.

The afternoon was the 300th Anniversary Service of Celebration for the Diocese of Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island at a local arena. Clearly a great deal of planning had gone into the service, but there were some critical gaps in thinking. A series of acted out vignettes about episodes of diocesan history were by times lacking in sensitivity, although quite well presented. The musicians (a keyboard, brass band and mass choir) were just barely strong enough to lead the several thousand people in the arena and might better have been a praise band, who would have had enough amperage to be heard. Maybe even getting a decent electronic organ for the day with suitable amplification would have been better. The language in the hymns was atrocious – triumphalistic, gender dominated masculine texts, and nothing from any canon of youthful music – and was where I checked out spiritually. There were some beautiful moments: the liturgical dance that served as a reflection on the texts, the danced procession of the Gospel, and the good will of the gathered diocese were quite lovely, but in comparison of the opening liturgy on Thursday night, paled considerably.

Our bishop hosted the synod delegation at local restaurant. It was the best part of the day. Several spouses were present, and helped keep the conversation from lingering on churchy matters.

Still, I’m glad I’m here. I don’t think we’ve gotten to any of the really contentious stuff, but from what other synod veterans have said, this is an excellent gathering in comparison of many in the past.

*http://news.anglican.ca/news/stories/1727

Today's weigh-in: ? Supper was fabulous.

General Synod, the Second Day

2010-06-06T00:06:00.002-03:00

While my day personally was punctuated by pastoral responsibilities at home, we are starting to grind away at the business of Synod. The day began with a Bible Study in our Galley groups, followed by community building exercises. My Galley group (a table group of eight people, balanced men/women, clergy/lay and geographically diverse) turned out to have a decent quartet of singers who, during one of the cooperative challenges, rendered the doxology in a credible fashion as something to do while waiting for something else to happen.

The Bishop of Jerusalem, Suheil Dawani, addressed General Synod this morning with a follow-up less formal presentation to take place on Monday at lunchtime. Like many public figures -- our primate included -- the level of candor during an internet-streamed public forum is different than one might expect in a more casual setting.

The afternoon brought with it the second presentation on Vision 2019, with a free-form question and comment session. There was some curious language emerging during the comments including the notions of leaders and followers. From my perspective, I would prefer language like leadership and community. The other afternoon presentation was about financial matters. I glaze over when it comes to financial stuff -- I don't deal well with money in my own life, and leave things like taxes to my partner to submit -- but this afternoon the financial stuff was presented with a remarkable clarity about accounting practices and definitions that even I understood it.

After supper, we sat for two further presentations (50 years of the Primate's World Relief and Development Fund, and Youth initiatives). Not the most scintillating, and, at least to my mind, illustrated why a good media consultant can make presentations more engaging.

We concluded the evening with Jazz Vespers. A trio (piano, drums, electric bass) framed some parables of Jesus with a bit of cool, and even this cynical critic was captivated. Worship as entertainment is not a path I'd like to travel very far, but this was a lovely ending to a very long day.

Except for drinks at the Gorsebrook Lounge.

Today's weigh-in: ? I have the impression that my ass is getting bigger from sitting all day.

The First Full Day

2010-06-04T23:08:00.004-03:00

The day started with the usual morning devotions and a bit of singing. People were welcomed and credentialed, guests were recognized, and then the community building began. A professional firm had been contracted to transition us into the corporate identity from our individual or diocesan "selves." You could sense the hesitation when people were asked to invent secret handshakes or share stories of favourite meals with repeatedly different partners, but it didn't take long before we all had learned the drill and were making new friends and acquaintances every two minutes.

From 11:00 'til noon, the Primate gave his "presidential address" (cf. state of the union address, speech from the throne, charge to synod). Some parts were predictable -- mission statements, vision imperatives (or vision quests), governance issues. But the best part was when ++Fred offered a sternly worded caution about the Covenant, illustrating the hypocrisy and double standard that is already in place, and clearly indicating his dissatisfaction with the tone and direction of the covenant.

Unfortunately this was offset by a rather lukewarm response to the human sexuality question, where he clearly indicated that we will remain in the kind of ecclesial limbo that masquerades as diocesan autonomy. Yes, we're all tired of talking about it, but until the church defines how it sanctifies and blesses those who are called to many different configurations of family life, we will continue to live in a dysfunctional "don't ask, don't tell" world.

The afternoon was spent, first with a sales pitch on Vision 2019 (a national awareness program based on the 5 Marks of Mission (http://www.anglican.ca/search/faq/037.htm)). Great video production at the beginning; some sentimental testimonials; some general encouragement to engage with the neighbourhood and the world around us. Unfortunately, it will take more than "greening our churches" and a bit of creative programming to transform us into a mission minded church.

The remainder of the afternoon and evening dealt with governance issues, specifically related to the size of General Synod and the size of the Council of General Synod (aka. Executive Council in TEC parlance). The debate was punctuated by procedural wrangling, statements of suspicion and distrust, and (with respect to those charged with a difficult task) insufficient information about the consequences of passing the motions to make it impossible to carry the resolution about the size of General Synod as it was presented. The Primate, after counted votes by orders, declared the motion "lost," which just seems a bit careless on the part of the presenters. Interestingly after supper, they came back with a plan to re-present the motion with additional information on Monday. Stay tuned!

The funniest part of the day came with the hymn that began the evening session -- Guide me, O Thou Great Jehovah. The old chestnut was introduced by the piano player who clearly had a much faster tempo in mind than the 300 people singing. But the piano player persevered, and the dirge desired by the assembled multitude, in then end, was a joyful hymn of affirmation. But the first verse was a curious quodlibet of tempi!

Today's weigh-in: ? This body still hasn't found the gym on campus.

Synod, the first day.

2010-06-03T23:27:00.002-03:00

There really was a sense of anticipation as delegates gathered, connected and reconnected with friends and new friends from around the church. There was an orientation session, tours of the University Campus, the first of many shared meals, a host of volunteers helping to make the transition into a conference as easy as possible, and, just maybe, a hint of the Holy Spirit.

Of course being local didn't make coming to St. Mary's Campus all that special -- we're in dormitory rooms with four (or more) people sharing one toilet and shower (in the same single bathroom) which will make for some interesting lineups in the morning. There are great long walks around to get to the meeting space, and quite a good cafeteria service.

The highlight of the day for me was the opening liturgy tonight. If you've read some of my other posts, you'll know that I'm fussy about liturgy -- it is the primary expression of the corporate life of the church -- and the barometer of my engagement with the people with whom I'm present.

It was, quite simply, stunning. Paul Halley, one of the foremost church musicians in North America, now lives in Halifax. He brought his parish choir who were brilliant -- the Howell's Te Deum at the beginning of the service and his own arrangement of Rise up, my fair one were transcendent. The hymn playing and visual symbolism of the sails made me choke up several times. The sermon by Bishop Tamayo (Uruguay/Cuba) was an extended riff on the metaphor of the vineyard, gently introducing the notion that from time-to-time painful pruning may be part of what is expected as a follower of Christ. One of the readings was in French, and the Prayers of the Faithful were delivered in six or seven different languages. The experience was profoundly moving, and even at my most cynical I am willing to concede that it is liturgies like this that open my heart and make me think that all persons can be welcomed here.

The social followed -- de rigeur for the Anglican church. There is an old adage: lex orandi, lex credendi -- as we pray, so we believe -- to which I would add: lex bibendi -- so we drink.

Today's weigh-in: ? There are no scales but justice at General Synod.

Primates Playing Ping-Pong

2010-06-02T19:59:00.002-03:00

The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Primate of all England being one of his official titles, issued a note to the Communion on Pentecost. I didn't particularly like the tenor of that missive, in that he holds out for a conservative orthodoxy, using as his authority Jesus' descriptor of the Holy Spirit who would reveal all truth.

He curiously omitted the daring actions of the Holy Spirit repeatedly manifested through the Acts narrative. This was especially true when the Church needed to grow into places that were foreign and different from the Jewish existence that had been so much a part of the first apostles' experience. Peter himself had to be reminded that it is not up to human agencies to define what is acceptable to God.

Enter Katharine Jefferts Schori, the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church (United States), a primate by any other name. Today she returned ++Rowan's serve with a volley of her own (http://www.episcopalchurch.org/79425_122615_ENG_HTM.htm) noting that the Spirit seems to be healthy and vibrant in the lives of many gay and lesbian Christians.

She also notes the sinister convergence of authority that is being constructed in the response to the Windsor Report and the emerging Anglican Covenant. In its place she cites the sacrament of Baptism as holding Anglicans in a common bond of recognition, which theology I heartily support.

This week at General Synod, ++Fred our Primate will have an opportunity to return ++Rowan's lofty serve -- in Ping-Pong, you want to keep the ball low to the net -- the Archbishop of Canterbury's serve was a high bouncer, and I hope that ++Fred will take the opportunity to smash it back (using genteel language, of course) as ++Katharine has.

Today's weigh-in: 234 lbs. No Ping-Pong here.

The List Gets Longer

2010-06-01T22:45:00.000-03:00

My head is in this really odd place -- normally when I go away, I'm going far enough that I can't just come home at night. Not that I'm planning to, since given the length of meeting days at General Synod, it makes more sense not to have to try and deal with crush hour. But I can't seem to get through the to-do list, since I know that if it doesn't get done I can always run home at night and finish it.

Laundry, funeral arrangements, two bulletins, dinner with the ACW, program mailing all done. Still no decision about how much of the circular to print. New computer battery should be in town tomorrow. Display materials for Education for Ministry table have arrived.

And then there's the don't forget list: pet care, answering machine message, clean the house, set up the church for the funeral on Saturday, buy wine, try to arrange for services in two weeks when I'm away on another matter...

Maybe what I really need is an administrative assistant. Or a curate.

Today's weigh-in: 234 lbs. Consistency after two days doesn't really count.

Every Day

2010-05-31T12:31:00.002-03:00

For the next two weeks, I am going to try and put up a piece every day, to try and give a sense of what General Synod is like. So let me begin with today:

It's Monday of the week where we gather on Thursday. There's Parish Council tonight (since next Monday won't work because of General Synod), a possibly pending funeral for later in the week, and preparation of the usual Sunday things for next Sunday (in other words, the stuff that I usually do on Saturday), there's a decision to be made about how much of the General Synod materials I need to print (we have been asked to "green" General Synod by going paperless insofar as it is possible) but since there are no electrical outlets in the meeting area, it may be impractical for my aging laptop battery to attempt several hours at even the lowest power setting, there is a mailing to one of the groups I meet with to be finished, and I need to take my daughter-who-will-be-house-sitting grocery shopping this afternoon in order to keep her happy.

Oh...there's also laundry to be done so that I can pack for eight days out of the house. The dress code for General Synod is generally casual, with a couple of more formal occasions. I wonder if my souvenir baseball jerseys would work?

Today's weigh-in: 234 lbs. Not quite lean.

Consultation

2010-05-29T09:14:00.003-03:00

When I hear the word "consultation" I have this notion that information will be mutually shared. When the church says, "consultation," it is much more of a one-way conversation where information will be delivered.

That is what I would call a sermon -- a one-way form of communication where little reply is expected, other than the presumed stirring of the minds and hearts of the listener. There is such a thing as good preaching, and I have heard many excellent sermons in my day. I think, however, that a good sermon opens up the possibility of a new way of seeing the world, or oneself, or Jesus or God. If it is delivered with style and panache, so much the better.

So there's a diocesan consultation today. I have to go because of some of the work I do. I think it is mostly to deliver some sort of bad news about budget projections. Maybe I'm wrong. But I am reminded of the scene near the beginning of Rob Reiner's film, The American President where Sydney Ellen Wade is in a meeting with government staff and her lobby group. She says, "I promise you, the White House Chief of Staff will not let us leave here until he's broken the bad news."

I don't think anybody's going to be allowed to leave today until the bad news has been broken.

Today's weigh-in: 238 lbs. More consultation required.

After almost 20 years....

2010-05-27T11:58:00.002-03:00

After almost 20 years of talking about "Baptismal Ministry" as the future of the church in this diocese -- in other words, that all ministry is, at its heart, rooted in the relationship established in Christ through Baptism, I read in our Diocesan Net News last night that a new pool of money was becoming available to provide training so that "lay people could help the clergy" even to the point of saying that "Clergy depend even more heavily on these same Lay people for help in carrying out their [ie. the ordained] vocations."

Don't they get it? That imperial top-down model of the church expired generations ago, and aside from a fond longing of simpler times, no longer exists. In the 1970's, Wes Frensdorff, the late Bishop of Nevada, went so far as to say we are called to be "ministering communities rather than communities gathered around a minister," which language is being used in this diocese as we formulate visions to move forward. And yet we have this announcement inviting the Laos of the church to make themselves more competent so that they can help the clergy.

As a priest, I don't see my role as the one who directs others' ministries, but the one who enables and affirms other ministries. The only unique ministry that I hold is to preside at Eucharist and to pronounce the church's absolution and blessing. If our view of ministry is based on ordination, then we lose the real dignity that comes from responding to the call of Christ in Baptism.

Ordained ministry is indeed special and unique and a privilege. But I was first called by God in Christ to understand a relationship with God in community, where the gifts and functions of ministry are always present first, before anyone is called to ordained ministry or leadership. Is that such a difficult notion?

Today's weigh-in: 237 lbs. Consistent if nothing else.

Preparing for General Synod

2010-05-22T10:51:00.003-03:00

One of the matters that is coming before General Synod this year is a philosophical matter that deals with one of the outcomes of European Colonialism called “The Doctrine of Discovery.” Basically, it is the notion that as European explorers began navigating the oceans of the world, they “discovered” Africa, Asia, Australia/Oceania, and North and South America. All of these discoveries were only new to Europe, but the Euro-centric world view suggested that these “new worlds” could be claimed and conquered by the technologically or financially more advanced European nations. A good example is the reference to Asia as “the Orient,” which upon reflection points out that it is only east if you start in Europe.

Another consequence of the “Doctrine of Discovery” was to discount and exploit peoples and resources by claiming ownership or domination. It is ironic to think that although we have come to recognize native Canadians as ‘First Nations’ we continue to treat the original inhabitants of this land as second-class citizens.*

By repudiating the “Doctrine of Discovery” we are acknowledging our complicity in the continued exploitation of many parts of the world, beginning in Canada. Our country has still not signed on to the United Nations Declaration of Rights of Indigenous Peoples (September, 2007), abandoned the Kelowna Accord of November, 2005 (the first nationally agreed upon schedule of reparations and recognitions for first nations), and failed to act on the apology offered to First Nations because of the abuse and cultural genocide resulting from the Residential Schools policy.

At General Synod, Anglicans will have an opportunity to provide intentional representation of native communities in The House of Bishops, the Council of General Synod (ie. CoGS), and to inform the liturgical and theological practices of our church.

It is appropriate on this Feast of Pentecost to consider the ways God’s Spirit touches all the peoples of the earth.

*The Episcopal Church (USA) repudiated the Doctrine of Discovery at their General Convention in 2009. For a first nations commentary, follow this link: http://www.indiancountrytoday.com/national/southwest/51572857.html

Today's weigh-in: 237 lbs. More time needed on the bicycle.

Transfiguration 2010

2010-02-14T19:08:00.003-04:00

So I was up on a mountain -- in Tennessee at Sewanee where I am facilitating a training event. Last night was a most stellar sunset, and I was out by the cross that marks the edge of the University domain by the escarpment of the Cumberland plateau. Tranquil and stunning in the still evening air, I had a lovely moment with G-d and creation. This morning there was an inch of snow on the ground and it was as if I were in a totally different world. One thing about snow in Tennessee -- it makes everybody smile.

I went to church at All Saints, the University chapel. The choir was gorgeous (even if they did sing Fauré's Cantique de Jean Racine in English), the setting grand and spacious, the hymns and service music singable, and a decent liturgical presence from the presiding celebrant. The sermon, however, sucked.

I preach pretty regularly. Some weeks are good, some not so good. But I would never appropriate a litany of stories from a group I lead and offer them as public grist without ever naming my own story. I was offended at so many levels -- it was impersonal; to my mind it violated any confidentiality of the group; it was, frankly, insipid and lacking depth. In speaking about the Celtic concept of "thin places" it made me think that the preacher had never himself had a "thin place" experience.

Let me offer this in response: there is, in some eastern traditions, that which is known as Samadhi. It means a non-dualistic moment in the mind. It is that state of consciousness where the temporal and eternal meet at once; where there is light and no darkness; where there is love and no hate; where there is oneness with everything. It is a first stage on the path of enlightenment.

In my small way, I had the Samadhi experience out by the cross last night. Looking at the pictures I took, the beauty is present but not the depth; the image is present, but not the awe; the place is represented, but only in depiction. It required me to be there at that time and place and to have that experience in order for it to be real, even if only for me.

And that is a thin place. And there is still snow on the ground. In Tennessee.

Today's weigh-in: 240 lbs. Don't ask, don't tell.

Thinking About Education

2010-01-09T16:44:00.001-04:00

I was invited to a conference this week -- the Canadian House of Bishops, representatives of educational institutions, and Diocesan representatives gathered at the Manior d'Youville to talk about standards of theological education.

There were some brilliant moments at the gathering: Mark Macdonald (Canadian bishop for indigenous persons) characterized the plight of theological schools as "forming the people of Babylon after a couple of years in Jerusalem." There were some tedious moments, especially when some participants didn't trust the process (we used "Indaba," which was presented as a distilled discussion). And then there were the idiots -- one bishop confronted me about baptismal ecclesiology, stating that it hadn't worked in his diocese -- it turned out that there was no staffing for parishes that had opted out of the traditional rector-centric ministry, and that they had devolved into a quasi-incumbent model. I suggested that not hiring ministry developers whose gifts were to enable others in ministry was the reason that he had perceived failure, and to blame a model of ministry that was scriptural and innately integral to the dignity of the community was to misplace the responsibility. I suspect that I won't be working in his diocese any time soon.

And so I come home to a place where everything seems to revolve around me. It's time to get back to transcribing the Annual Reports.

Today's weigh-in: 238 lbs. Perhaps I should have weighed in earlier in the day.

Advent and Christmas

2010-01-01T02:39:00.000-04:00

Every year, I have this challenge to enter into the joy of the season, to prepare to celebrate Christ's incarnation, to catch the Christmas spirit. And every year, my calendar, the liturgies, the demands of the household, tension around a teenage daughter (as though that doesn't happen all year 'round), and, this year, the funeral of a dear friend, all conspired to suck the pleasure right out of everything.

I was so frustrated that I actually bared my soul during the Christmas Eve sermon -- I preached on being the "custodian of a myth." Most people didn't get it, some people were appalled that I'd dare talk about Christ as a concept, some thought I was having a crisis of faith, and for the five people that actually thought about how the story of Jesus and the proclamation of the Incarnate G-d are intimately linked and synergistic, may you know the blessings that come from that realization.

And to top it off, I have blood in my urine. Can you say "kidney stone?"

Today's weigh-in: 237 lbs. It sucks to be me.

The Dog at General Synod

2009-06-01T17:32:00.002-03:00

Well this is an extraordinary thing -- I was elected as a delegate to the General Synod of the Anglican Church of Canada, which will convene in Halifax in June 2010.

In this diocese, clergy delegates are elected by clergy, which is the surprising part. I have tended to annoy my clergy colleagues, yet for some reason, I am sufficiently trusted to express the mind of the clergy of the diocese (together with the others elected to this position). Curiously, the general sense that I have is that those elected as clergy delegates are 'liberal' -- in favour of diversity in the church, against an Anglican covenant -- more on that later -- and wanting the Church to move in a progressive way that moves beyond tolerance to acceptance. General Synod is an opportunity I have to see the larger vision of the church.

Nevertheless, I'm not sure that our church is ready to move.

Today's weigh-in: Unknown Because there is no scale at Synod. Just votes.

The Enneagram

2009-04-30T22:23:00.011-03:00

free enneagram test

The Enneagram is a useful personality/spirituality inventory that provides a different set of criteria and archetypes than the more familiar Myers-Briggs Personality or Kiersey-Bates Temperament tools. But in the spirit of full disclosure, I am an INTP according to the Myers-Briggs typing and, as you can see, a seven on the Enneagram.

Today's weigh-in: 231 lbs. But you missed the months when I weighed 240 lbs.

Indifferent

2008-10-15T09:18:00.005-03:00

Well the only thing that changed last night was the amount of scotch left in the bottle. Two decent-sized tumblers did nothing to change the outcome of the election -- we still have a minority conservative government whose values are clearly at odds with compassion and concern, that is anti-environment and pro-business (and the bigger the business the better) and whose arrogance (epitomized by the way the party parachuted hand-picked candidates into ridings [that they didn't win, by-the-way]) and negativity throughout the campaign produced the feeling that is someplace between slight motion-sickness and a mild hangover.

The other thing that happened yesterday was that barely fifty percent of eligible voters actually turned up. The pundits will dissect that fact for a while, but I think it shows that we, as a country, are uninspired, not apathetic. The negativity of the Conservative and NDP campaigns, the inability of the Liberals to show a vision that actually touches hearts, the regional interests of the Bloc Quebecois and the perception that the Green Party is still a fringe -- even as I write this, I can see why nothing changed.

I wonder if the same thing goes for church attendance. If we, as church, are not presenting anything for people to get excited about, is it any wonder that they won't show up? I don't have the sense that people are against anything (which is why negativity won't work), but are simply well-intended but uninspired. In Rob Reiner's movie, The American President, when speaking of leadership, Lewis Rothschild (played by Michael J Fox) says, "People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand." Substitute the word 'vision' for 'leadership' and I think I'll find a bunch of Christians -- and Canadians -- with mouthfuls of sand.

Theologically, it's like longing for the kingdom that used to be, and hoping that a great king will emerge. Except that Jesus says we are the kingdom and it's here now. Let's spit out the sand and get inspired.

Today's weigh-in: 231 lbs. Unchanged.

Election Day

2008-10-14T08:24:00.002-03:00

Okay, I haven't been faithful about keeping the blog. My bad -- I can wear it with grace. With all good intentions, I thought I'd be able to write at least weekly, since I'm used to that weekly kind of discipline in other aspects of my vocational life (as in, the inevitability of Sunday), but somehow, unless somebody holds me accountable, I'm not likely to succeed.

The reason that I decided to revisit the blog today is because of the federal election. It's just over two years since our last federal election (see my earlier post, "The Uninspired") where I noted the apathy of the voting public.

It seems to me that politicians and I are not that different (and I'm not sure who should be less flattered). If somebody doesn't hold our leadership accountable, there really doesn't seem to be much that changes election-by-election.

Holding left-of-centre views, my heart is with the New Democratic Party or maybe even the Green Party. I am not frightened by social democracy, and understand that the role of the majority is to protect and uphold the rights of the minority and the individual. Nevertheless, our riding has been well-served by a Liberal Member of Parliament who lives out his personal convictions with great dignity, and will likely get my vote.

Which leaves me pondering how I might hold our soon-to-be-elected new government accountable. Parishioners are not shy about letting me know when I'm not living up to expectations -- maybe that's a lesson I could learn!

Today's weigh-in: 231 lbs. Uncommitted.

Storm Day

2007-01-16T08:50:00.000-04:00

After an unusually warm winter, thus far -- a brown Christmas, shirt-sleeves and sweaters in January, trees starting to bud and green patches on the lawn -- we are having our first winter storm day. Snow and falling ice overnight have cancelled the day. I suppose I'm in one of the few jobs where I could, if inclined, do little or nothing during the week except read, pray and respond to emergencies as needed. It's not in my nature, though. I recognize that I'm driven and over-functioning, and, once September comes, seldom have sequential days off.

That's why I treat days like this as a gift. Today would have been two meetings, and liturgical planning for the weekend. Last week was the complilation and completion of the Annual Reports. I really need a day to do nothing much more than read and pray. Maybe play computer games. Maybe nap. And because the school board cancelled school, I have this sense of being able to slack off with a clear conscience.

The problem comes, of course, when this kind of rationalization begins to infect the moral and ethical decisions we make. If I can excuse my actions in one part of my life so easily, what happens when I'm confronted with the hard decisions which constantly confront and confound us. If we can find ways to abrogate our responsibilities by taking advantage of some set of fortunate circumstances, what does that say about us?

I haven't reached the point of feeling guilty about a much-needed day off, but as I hear the reports of traffic accidents, and flight delays, and people losing wages because they can't work today, the least I can do is remember that not everyone is in my fortunate circumstance.

Today's weigh-in: 231 lbs. Signs of improvement.

Unresolved

2007-01-03T15:03:00.001-04:00

It is the season of resolutions. Every year at this time, we look at the “book” that we call our lives and search for our place on the page. As the new calendar opens a new chapter for us, we use the beginning of January to set out our priorities, craft a new plot line, work on the development of our character, and consolidate the events of the past year into a coherent image of ourselves that we can carry forward.

For me, it is the reminder that I struggle with weight and fitness issues; it is the reminder of relationships past, present and future; it is the time when I list my shortcomings and see what I can do about some aspects of my life that I think I can change. I have publicly acknowledged some of my character flaws: a lack of organizational and administrative skills (I use a vertical filing system organized on generally accepted archeological principals); a tendency to procrastinate (the pressure of a deadline is tremendous motivation); a cynical nature (don’t ever call me “nice” – I think it’s an insult); and an expectation that people will behave honorably towards me and towards others (I’m still not sure why this isn’t so).

So to begin 2007, I resolve to drop 15 pounds (see the weigh-in, below). I resolve to finish up the administrative tasks, especially filing and document registration, left over from last year. And I resolve to write more regularly. I’m not sure why this is hard for me – crafting sermons is a weekly discipline; writing articles, summaries, minutes, or correspondence is a breeze. But if you look at this blog, I can’t seem to maintain any semblance of dependable journaling.

It’s the first week of January. We’ll see.

Today's weigh-in: 233 lbs. Undisciplined.

The Uninspired ...

2006-06-14T09:47:00.000-03:00

We just had what in the words of one candidate, was the "Seinfeld election." It was an election where there was no defining issue, no matters demanding the opinion of the electorate -- indeed, the local hot-button issues of Sunday shopping or gay marriage were not mentioned -- and seemed to represent nothing more than the youthful premier's attempt to time the vote in order to secure a majority from an uninspired electorate.

That didn't happen: the status quo remains, and for the time being nothing changes, except that we will have another year or two to see whether any of the campaign promises bear fruit.

I wonder if God has the same problem with an uninspired church? Great plans are unveiled, that demand some kind of response, yet with no response, the church -- God's uninspired electorate -- muddles along thinking that the status quo is sufficient, and that nothing ventured, nothing gained is the best way to be Christian. Perhaps we need to be reminded that Dante condemns the sullen and slothful to the fifth circle of hell, which, if you're measuring, makes complacency a worse sin than lust or greed.

Today's weigh-in: 227 lbs. Fourth circle of hell.

The Day After Easter

2006-04-17T16:51:00.000-03:00

It looks like I gave up blogging for Lent. I didn't. I was just lazy. Or unmotivated. Or busy.

Lent was a salutory exercise. No daily cocktail hour, no red meat, busy with churchy things. It felt like Lent.

On the other hand, I'm still recovering from Easter. Baptisms, sunrise service, extra preparations and activity in the Parish Office (where I double as an underpaid secretary), deaths in the parish family, and the inevitable diocesan things that got transferred from before Easter because we'd be too busy.

Guess what...it stays busy after Easter too.

But at least there's cocktail hour!

Today's weigh-in: 221.5 lbs. See--Lent was worthwhile!

Wings at the Airport

2005-09-15T15:56:00.000-03:00

Another airport...Winnipeg this time...and I'm in a restaurant eating wings and drinking beer. It's a bit of a ritual with me when I travel...I LIKE wings (not too soupy, hot, battered) and I LIKE beer (a dark ale, preferably with a creamy head and lingering well rounded not too bitter aftertaste). The Winnipeg airport is doing well...the wings are better than average and a local ale (Fort Gary Dark) is excellent.

It is also a chance for me to reconnect with the electronic world after three days at a convent, albeit at an exorbitant price (Telus Hot Spot, $15.00 per day). 200 plus e-mails. A number of offers to "enlarge my member," "buy this stock which is about to go big," "take our latest survey -- all you have to do is supply your e-mail address" (as if), and "get laid tonight" (that's rather presumptuous, don't you think?). Amongst the junk were some diocesan notices that I should read, some meeting notices that I had to read, a couple of e-mail lists that I like to read, and some notes from friends that I was glad to read, more often than not because they required no response from me, but pointed me towards something they found amusing or relevant.

I think God gets a lot of p-mail (prayer-mail). A lot of it is junk, even more is self-serving drivel, too much is irrelevant, extravagant or extorting, and there are probably a few truly important bits that God takes seriously or mabe even finds amusing. I hope God has an up-to-date set of divine Norton's to filter out the spam! If God has to deal with all this stuff unaided (hey...that would be a good use for the cancelled angel of the "Touched by an Angel" TV show...or maybe Michael Landon...do you remember THAT show?), I do not envy God.

And I DO wonder if God has time for wings and beer?

Today's weigh-in: 227 lbs. Too many wings.

The Bully Has A Black Eye

2005-09-04T19:38:00.000-03:00

While at a training event over the weekend, we were chatting about Hurricane Katrina. There was a profound acknowledgement of the suffering of those who wouldn't, or more likely couldn't, flee the city in anticipation of the storm. Aside from the fury of the storm itself, there will be abundant blame to go around. Personally, I am prepared to lay much of the consequential blame with the government -- a compelling argument published in The Independent (a British journal) makes the case that the budget priorities that support the military action in Iraq and the subsuming of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) into the Department of Homeland Security are largely responsible for the neglect of the infrastructure which might have saved New Orleans (http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/article310195.ece).

Nine months ago we were generous in offering relief to the victims of the Tsunami in southeast Asia. Now, however, it must be asked if we will be as generous to those who are suffering as a result of Katrina? I suspect that there is a certain smugness in viewing the United States as the bully of the world, who now has a black eye...they have made their bed, now sleep in it...or if you burn your ass, you've got to sit on the blister. All this is undoubtedly true, and we will all be paying at some level as fuel and produce prices rise.

But for this dog at the table, much in all as I would like to be smug, I've already made a contribution for hurricane relief -- it was at a wedding yesterday where the bride and groom would kiss in return for a charitable donation, and since I said the grace at the meal, I had the first opportunity to make a donation ($20.00 if you need to match it) and while the kiss was hardly worth it, the good feeling was.

I'm prepared to lay blame for the scope of the catastrophe at the feet of the American administration, but that doesn't relieve me of the responsibility to care for others who are suffering.

Today's weigh-in: 225 lbs. (I can accept the blame for that)

Fixing the Lamp

2005-08-23T15:07:00.000-03:00

It seems that the lamp that has always burned bright to light my workspace and favourite reading (and sleeping) chair had worn out. For the last year or two, I've turned this lamp of mine on and off by unplugging it. The twisty switch at the top didn't function, but the fixture itself seemed fine. But last weekend, whatever bit of plastic or ceramic or wire that kept the bulb connected finally let go.

I spent part of the day trying to buy a new work lamp, but the only one I could find at a local hardware store had a magnifying glass attached, and poor though my vision is, I thought it an unneccesary and expensive extra. But I found, instead, a similar fixture by itself, and decided to make a stab at fixing the lamp myself.

When I got home, I discovered that the wires were soldered into the old fixture. This meant that I had to dig out a seldom used soldering iron that was about 30 years old, and remarkably, it worked as soon as I plugged it in (this was a good thing, as it reminded me to unplug the lamp, which I hadn't done). Changing the fixture was a snap -- two screws and the mounting bolt -- and within 10 minutes had my old cherished lamp back fully functioning.

Jesus says that God's word is like a lamp to my feet. I wonder if that lamp is like the one beside my chair? It's not much good if it isn't pointed the right way, or if the bulb is too dim. If it is swung away from my shoulder, I can't read; if it's too close, I can't see anything else in the room; if the bulb is too bright it gets hot and fries the critical bits inside the switch. If God's word is a lamp for me, it needs to be at the right distance: neither too dim, nor too bright; too diffuse or too tightly focused. Like my study lamp, God's word is only one of the sources of illumination for my life -- it provides clarity but doesn't hold me captive -- in other words, I don't spend my whole life sitting in my chair, comfortable though it is. In the Anglican tradition, perhaps Richard Hooker was sitting in his chair and noticed that scripture need tradition and reason in order to be effective.

And for people that say that the lamp is all that we need, perhaps they should get out of their chair once in a while and notice that the dog is under the coffee table next to them.

Today's weigh-in: 223 lbs. (still too much light on the supper table)

The Lamp Burns Dim

2005-08-03T22:31:00.000-03:00

It's late. I've spent the last two days in Diabetic School -- it's where you go to learn how to manage diabetes. Yup, I'm an overweight old guy. All the things that didn't make a difference a year ago changed when I turned 50 (that would be February if you're counting). Borderline cholesterol, marginal high blood pressure, and the blood sugars that were simply a curiosity in January became a stern warning from the doctor and the old-guy cocktail: lipitor, altase, metformin and avandia. Lose 20 pounds. Reduce the stress in your life. Manage your life, don't let it take control of you. You can read about it for yourself if you want (or talk to 15 of your friends since chances are one of them is diabetic) -- http://www.diabetes.org/type-2-diabetes.jsp -- but if you're like me, you won't until the good Dr. Bruce shows you the bad news. Or the good news. It turns out I'm the captain of a team that includes medical specialists, dieticians, nurses, a psychologist, a social worker and maybe even the people that are part of my life. I wasn't even allowed to be on the team until the diabetes clicked in.

Diabetes is never cured, only managed.

Faith is a lot like diabetes. It will never really fix anything, but it is a constant part of life that is always present. It asks you to monitor and keep track of things. It invites a different level of awareness. It requires you to remember and recall things that once seemed inconsequential but are now important. Meaningful conversations about faith, like diabetes, tend to take place only among those that are persons of faith (or diabetic). And faith invites you to the table in a different way, just as you will always approach the table differently with diabetes.

But there is a carefully prepared place for you at the table.

Today's weigh-in: 225 (it must be fluid retention)

Even the little dogs...

2005-08-01T10:07:00.000-03:00

The church is not the easiest place to be making one's life. I am reminded of Jesus' encounter with the woman with the 12-year haemorrhage, where she suggests that even if she wasn't one of the chosen, the little dogs still feed from the scraps at the master's table.

I am one of the little dogs.

Since I'm not a biblical fundamentalist, a conservative doctrinaire, nor a bond-servant to orthodoxy, I have been told I'm not welcome at the master's table.

But I'm willing to feed on the scraps.

Today's Weigh-in: 223.5 (well fed)